. amanda .
. 24th Nov '88 .
. Sagittarus .
. NYPian .
. [AF 0501] .
. ex-SACian .
. ex-SJCian .
. ex-MJCian .
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Saturday, February 28, 2004
'4gif n 4get...'
many ppl says tt...bt hw ez issit 2 reali do it? some may sae k..i 4gif u...bt they dun 4get wat u did 2 them...dun u agree?i noe im guilty of tt...its nv ez 2 4get...eso when u gt hurt real bad...
many ppl sin...some sin real bad...bt jesus 4gives us...n still loved us e way we r...hmm...im nt a christian or a catholic...im a free tinker...bt tt's wat i believe...jesus loves us juz e way we r...we hurt him by sinnin n he was put on e cross so tt all our sins may b 4given...he bear e pain bt still 4gif us...y cant we 4gif others hu hurt us?
many ppl r veri unsure abt life nw...no1 can help them onli themselves...others can onli guide them...many feels lonely n unhappy...sometimes mi 2...bt i tried 2 get over it...nw i wun sae im veri happy...or im nt lonely...bt @ least i dun dwell over my loneliness...esp in sch...i noe i will always haf her as my frd...tt warms my heart le...n makes mi feel happy...n i wun b so lonely...besides...y waste my time 2 b unhappy when i can use it 4 more useful stuffs...like being happy...n tink happy tots.. dun u agree??
happy is such an ez word...bt doin it is so hard...i agree...bt try 2 stay happy...cos sadness will onli gif u more pain...
piano^gal >.<
4givin n 4gettin is a tough job...bt as long as u r willin 2 do it...nth is impossible...
thinking of you @ 12:08 PM
Friday, February 27, 2004
hmm...dis few days reali tot a lot sia...hmm...mr teoh mayb 'crazy' sometimes...bt horz wat he always tell us is so damn true man!! dis yr takin o level le...i need spend less time on e fone...sms...or playin/foolin ard...many of my frdz did quite bad sia quite upset 4 them...cos they r my frdz aft all...bt all i can do nw is 2 pray 4 them (though im a free tinker) i pray tt they will haf e courage 2 move on wif their lives...n tt they learn fr their mistakes n dun eva make e same again...bless them always!!
hmm...tt reali gt mi tinkin...do i wanna end up like them next yr? regretful n all?? no i DUN WAN!! i beta buck up man...my results sux so much...i flung my ss bt gd ting i did quite well in hist...den overall humans i passed...uncle teoh said tt in e exam u either kill or b killed...i so agree man...so i beta start revisin...or i'll die!! hmm...2 those takin o level dis yr work hard n enjoy life lata...or u'll regret...no use cry over spilled milk...upset n regret when u cant do anyting abt it...scared abt sth tt is over...so u beta b upset nw...scared nw...worry nw...study nw...work hard nw...blah blah blah...hmm...enjoy life lata...yes i noe life is 2 short 2 enjoy...bt hw many times can u do ur o level again rite?i bea put tt in my mind 2...haha...i lack self motivation...
tt day investiture was quite ok leh...hmm...gt 2 noe 3 kc gals...haha...they quite funny sia...den end up we all played wacko so fun!! gt a kc gal (banana, tt;s wat every1 called her...haha) so kana like 6 times!! i didnt kana once...haha...yen ching oso heez...tml gg julia's bday party...in e evenin...gg enjoy 4 awhile den back 2 studies...i hope...
sori haven been updatin regularly...cos bz wif sch...den ya...haha...den nw i muz buck up...so doubt i will come tt often (i hope!!) k i beta stop nw...heez...take care every1...n those u did badly...move on wif life...work harder next yr!! n there is always a chance 2 get 2 e top...as long as u e determined!!! >.< *smilez*
piano^gal >.<
life r full of decisions...choose them carefully...
thinking of you @ 9:25 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2004
hmm.. as usual slackin again 2day...i die le...haven been studyin...haiz... hw leh...i gt alot of amaths dun noe hw do...den horz...my other hw is nt hand up tml...den i slack...argh!! i beta buck up man...den my wk days r like so tirin liao...i told my frd my schdule...wah...he said, 'hear le i oso scared...' haha...hmm...sec4 life ba...so stress rite? sometimes i stress till i dun wanna do anyting cos i will get irritated...den nth can b done!!argh!!
haha...i stop here ba...act gt lots 2 write abt life de...haha...my sis wan use 2 com le...so beta stop if nt lata she choke mi 2 death..haha...take care every1...n those hu r troubled n sad...cheer up man...i noe its hard...bt u gt 2 try...
piano^gal
missin u always...
thinking of you @ 6:34 PM
Saturday, February 21, 2004
here's a poem of my tots n feelins...
hw come i'm always helpin u, sidin u,
when e 1 gettin hurt is ME?
hw come i will fall in love,
when i only feel pain?
hw come ppl is brought into dis world,
when they suffer so much?
is love like tt?
2 suffer n feel pain?
or 2 feel happiness?
i'm @ a loss...
hmm...im kinda irritated wif my STUPID life!! hw come others can haf dis yet i cant? hw come i cant get along wif my mum when she tries so hard yet i treat her tt way? bt sometimes im reali tired of her nags...i noe she means well...bt i oso need space 2 breath rite?
haiz...next sat suppose go out wif him de den meet jie they all 2 go julia's party...bt horz...looks like i cant spend time wif him again le...cos my parents both workin..den e time will b short le...sori dear...i noe u will understand...
next whole wk i tink i sun onli free leh...wah stress...haha...hmm...bt tt's life 4 mi...i hope those out there will always feel happy...esp my frdz...n most imptly my 'darlins' n him...haha...n of cos my fam!! wish every1 wif gd health...cos being healthy is most impt when u wan do other stuff...
piano^gal >.<
* happiness is so hard 2 find... when will i b truely happy?? *
thinking of you @ 11:04 AM
Friday, February 20, 2004
hmm...been stress out dis few days...wif sch work PLUS piano theory which im goin 2 take e exam real soon though its like next mth...haiz...i reali die le...gt so much 2 rem yet i haven started n i doubt i can even fin e paper in like 3hours!! i take so damn long 2 even fin 1 qn!! hmm...i cant afford 2 fail again man...haiz...if i fail i wun take theory le...hmm...haven gt time 2 prac 4 my prac either...when i gt time, i dun haf e mood 2 play...wat e hell is wrong wif mi?? argh!! fustrated...
next thur is our investiture le...hmm...nw still figurin out abt our food probs...haiz...so stress man...i tink i offended aud 2day y m i always offendin ppl? is it my fault?
next fri is release of o level results le...den march is a levels...i wonder hw he did...n my other frdz did...n hw amelia darlin did...wish them all e best!! hmm...
i beta stop here n do my stuff...if nt lata sure get scoldin fr my piano teacher le...die!! miss every1!!
piano^gal >.<
- no matter wat e outcome is...as long as u did ur best!! -
thinking of you @ 3:44 PM
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
2day last paper of ct!! heez...so happy!! its amaths, we always haf amaths paper last...cant figure out y oso...haha...its quite hard lo...bt i tink if i understand e qn...i wld haf noe hw do...haiz...goin fail le...my dad still say i muz get gd results 4 dis ct leh...die lo...my chi already juz pass onli...haiz...
i did put in effort 2 study, mayb its juz nt enough...hmm...my other sub oso can fail le...if nt is juz pass...hw m i goin 2 pass well in my o level...is it cos e sch set higher standard den o level? hope so leh...heez..
hmm...been tinkin a lot...tt day listened 2 e radio while strugglin 2 study...it was abt love...hmm...i relised i holded on 2 tightly 4 both my frdship n relationship...juz like e sand...u hold on 2 losely, it will slip fr ur hands...if u holded on 2 tightly it will also slip fr ur hands slowly...i decided i need 2 change...haiz...bt den sometimes its so hard 2 b some1 'perfect' dun u tink so?
time flies...nw im sec4...veri soon goin 2 grad...n take o level...wah...tt's so scary 2 tink of it man...its like onli yest i came into e sch...nt knowin anyting abt e sch...hmm....i will miss my life in it...bt i WUN miss my sch!! i noe i veri bad la...haha...we cant run aft time...bt we can make full use of it...(bt im nt makin full use of it nw...>.<...)
feelin alone is a norm ting ba...as long as u keep urself occupied wif tings...u wun feel tt way...try 2 do useful tings...or even relaxin stuff...n always love urself 1st b4 u love others...(a ting tt is so hard 2 do when i tink u r in love...)
piano^gal >.<
# i noe e feelin of loneliness sux... bt i believe its wat u tink tt makes wat u feel... # KEEP SMILING!! :)
thinking of you @ 3:00 PM
Saturday, February 14, 2004
2day vday...act quite happy de...cos our 1yr...
wanted go out...bt nv go...cant go ba...haiz...kinda started 2 get upset...he went out wif his frdz...i didnt mind cos i oso cant go out...bt den i sms him...he like cant b bothered...sometimes i reali wonder hw much i mean 2 him...he sae i mean a lot... bt den his actions prove differently...haiz...im so fan nw...i noe its wrong 2 talk behind him...bt tt;s hw i reali feel...haiz...
2 all e couples out there...hope u all will b happy 2gether...n every1 out there...happy vday!! 2 those single...dun worry u sure will find tt some1...
piano^gal >.<
*vday is nt onli a time 4 couples...its a time 4 us 2 show our love 4 our love ones...*
thinking of you @ 8:33 PM
Sunday, February 08, 2004
yest went sp...hmm...it was okok lo...we gt lost like 2timez!! so paiseh...haha...bt oh well... den saw a shuai ge...den they all ask 4 no...so paiseh sia..wah..didnt noe they so daring...bt oh well...
hmm...aft tt went town 4 a while...went hm like 7+ liao...die lo...i lied 2 my parents say i went eat...lucky they nv scold sia... my dad sae y go till so far...ask mi go nyp de open house...so mayb goin if can sign up some more...heez...
ct comin le...so fast...den vday oso...haven started makin my frdz present...haiz...dun noe if can make successful nt...if nt den dun make lo...mayb make 4 her onli...heez...i v bad horz...bt oh well...
hmm...lata muz study again le...nw head so full...like gg burst...dis ct like gt a lot of sub muz memorise de...sianz...bt wat 2 do? tt's sch...tml gt choir again le...hope those ppl rem bring choir fund..if nt ms lee sure come rush mi le..haiz..argh!! i dun like being treasurer...bt wat 2 do?? anyway im doin choir sth rite?? heez...+PLUS+ i can get pts!! heez...i tink...or mayb is it will reflect in my testimonial...heez...beta den nth...bt well..i love choir so ya...juz tt i dun like e...hmm...(beta dun say!!) haha..
juz nw js kor msg mi in msn...1st time sia!! haha...bt well...wish him all e best wif her!! heez...i wan a da shao soon leh... heez...hmm...bt always stay happy... [>.<]
piano^gal >.<
being wif ur love ones doesn't mean u will always b happy... there r ups n downs... if nt it wun last... wish all e couples out there all e best!! those jioin ppl jia you!! =Þ
thinking of you @ 6:41 PM
Friday, February 06, 2004
hmm... so sianz nw... so decided 2 write blog..
die im so damn slack nowadays.. hmm... no self motivation de... hw??
yay!! tml gg out le.. heez... wif her somemore... so long nv go out wif her le.. miss those days... hope tml will b a happy day... heez... tml gg sp... den mayb gg town... hope can go out sia... bt den gt choir... wah sianz... dun wanna c e teacher face lo... den she damn sickenin de lo... argh!! we cant even talk... or rather whisper... oso nt like we disturb her like tt...
die le... i find tt i changed a lot sia... i always scold ppl de... hw come?? gt affected ma?? bt den horz... veri irritated sometimes... haiz... i muz change myself... i miss my old self sia... haiz... bt wat 2 do?? ppl change... even i haf 2 get use 2 my new self...
hmm... e sch like v funny wif their system lo... councillor oso may go 4 interview... den mayb get 'sack' haiz... bt den its like we gg serve office fin le lo... den like tt we lost our pts... (will we?) scared i will kana sia... cos like i dun reali do much... hope my mentee can get promoted... wish her all e best!! she v nice gal leh... heez...
piano^gal >.<
** 'frds'... such a simple word... yet so complicated... **
thinking of you @ 7:28 PM
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
yest 'quarrelled' wif 3 ppl.. bt 2 was solve..e other is still abgry wif mi ba..well..i oso angry lo..i gt v irritated yest..
hmm...i seriously dun noe wat 2 write...wrote so much in my personal diary yest...haha...everytime i wanna write n tot of wat 2 write here le...online my mind is blank...haha...oh well...
ct comin le.. 12/2.. hmm..tt date remind mi of sth...haha...anyway i haven started studyin.. DIE!!! n i dun noe my amaths, chem.. die lo.. haiz.. beta start lata if can...cos gt hw n a test 2 study 4 fri.. hmm...whole bk of 3a leh...chi.. die lo...haiz.. e last class test i juz pass onli... hope can do beta.. my results slackin le..i beta buck up!!!
piano^gal >.<
hidin my sorrow... hidin my fearz...
thinking of you @ 5:15 PM
wishing for--*
* new tops/ bottoms/ jumper
* nail polish
* new highlights for hair
* new heels
* new diary (notebook)
* have a beta 2007
* be more decisive
movie list--*
happy feet
open season
Night at the Museum
charlotte's web
eragon
= the holiday =
curse of e golden flower
= zodiac =
= TMNT =
= Ghost Rider =
= Spider Man 3 =